The conscious thoughts of the bodies on this planet oversee the energy of this solar system

“If we all had the quality of our lives as our first priority, the earth would not need to make the changes that it is making in the present, such as clearing the planet of people by earthquakes etc. The earth is a living organism and it is about to assert itself and free itself of people who do not love themselves. They judge themselves and everything, therefore they do not respect earth.” – Annette Noontil.

I find this quote (taken from The Body is the Barometer of the Soul) to hold a lot of truth. It is evident to me that our planet is in  desperate need of healing.

Many choices are made aligned with the ego (or the devil or fear or whatever you would like to name it): blame, guilt, anger, vengeance, shame. And the majority of the time, the perpetrator isn’t aware of the origin of their behavior. For example one may think that stopping a loved one from doing something they don’t agree with is love, but a lot of the time it is actually fear of the consequences (of losing them etc. ). Some do not see the selfishness of vengeance and blame and guilt. Yet they see loving yourself as selfish when in reality, you cannot love others until you love yourself. You cannot help others until you help yourself.

Addiction is a big part of the ego. We spend so much time and money and energy fulfilling ourselves with the physical world, yet few of us are aware that you will never be satisfied.

Sex, drugs, alcohol, tv, comfort food, relationships; these are just a few things we use and abuse. Even as I am writing this I am chomping away at a block of chocolate way past the point where my body has gotten all that it needs from it. I am now abusing myself because I am addicted to this substance that I believe will add more enjoyment to me. But it never does.

This is the ego. It tricks you into thinking that it will provide you with everything you ever wanted and needed but somehow you never reach the point of complete satisfaction. It keeps you on your toes, gnawing for more and more.

However, if we turn inwards into our divine selves, our soul, we start to realize that we are filled with love, light, peace and joy. It is an abundant, never ending supply. This is because it is sourced from the spirit (or God, if that rolls with you better). My friends, you will surely find satisfaction here.

This place is difficult to find and keep. As they say, it is a narrow road and few may enter. However, seek and you shall find.

I believe whole heartedly that addiction can be cured. I know that it can, if you are willing to let go of the ego. I know people who were alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals and have been released from their prison (which, may I add, is all mental).

So if we are to heal the world, we must heal ourselves first. Love ourselves first. Help ourselves first.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we made enough room on that narrow road so that everyone could walk down it together?

Creating your vision

I have been completing a course based on A Course In Miracles for the last month and wanted to share the exercise for today. It will take some time, but it is definitely worth it!

I just spent 30 minutes or so typing away at whatever came up for me, without judging it or sorting through it. I just typed the words as they came to me. And I was amazed at what I came up with! I had no idea I could write a whole page.

If you let yourself be completely vulnerable then you will get a lot more out of this exercise. Good luck 🙂

“1. LISTEN TO MY VOICE: Be still. Rest in God, and listen to what A Course in Miracles calls “my voice” – the voice of Jesus, the voice of your Christ Mind. Think about what you would love to do. What brings you joy? Listen in stillness for Divinely Inspired Ideas for what would make you happy. With these things in mind, write down a Vision for your life – about a page – a specific description of your life, with you doing exactly what you have always wanted to do, as if its happening now. 

Write it in “I AM” language as if you are doing it now or have done it. “I love my life. I am … “

2. LEARN TO UNDO ERROR: See if there is any resistance, fear or blocks getting in the way of you living this life. What stories or excuses are coming up for you (if any) that are keeping you from being truly alive, doing what you love right now?

3. DO SOMETHING TO CORRECT THE ERROR: Take a step, an action, that proves that the error/the block cannot hold you back. Do something to correct the error, to dissolve the fear and live this life starting now. Do it today. Pick up your bed and walk. “

– Lisa Natoli

Dear God

I am grateful for..

The basic gifts that my parents have given me; food, water, shelter, and love

The colour that my brothers bring to my life. How I can laugh, play, and dance worrylessly and in total joy with them. How they love me and take care of me and how I can be their friend.

My Job; to have an income no matter how small

My country; the clear and relatively unpolluted air. No major natural disasters, war or legal guns, however imperfect we are as a nation.

Support in my spiritual life – or else I would give up on being me and my life would be normal.

My gifts.

My material possessions, however unnecessary.

Healthy food and lifestyle options

A good education.

Friends who care about me and enjoy sharing with me. Who I can counsel, encourage, teach, and inspire. Who I share an understanding with.

Michael, however absurd our situation, for his love, joy and peace. For his understanding and generosity and encouragement.

James, for his fearless take on life, his inspiration and support and understanding.

Laura, for showing me what it’s like to have a sister.

My visions and inspirations for the future.

And most of all, God. With all his grace, love and peace. His loving hand, his wise words, his great plan. His creation and everything else that is beyond my comprehension. For giving me life, for giving me reason to be grateful. Thank you Lord, I love you. I am truly blessed

Walk of Life

Sometimes I find myself walking on sand. My grounding beneath my feet crumbles away making it hard to take a step forward.

It is a struggle at first but after a while I forget what it’s like to walk on sturdy ground. If I am lucky I may temporarily come across a patch of firm sand. Here I can balance myself easier – it comes as a relief. I find it easier to take a step forward. I no longer slip as far backwards as I push-off.

Every now and then I may encounter some quicksand. You cannot see it coming but you step right into the midst of it. Maybe one day I will learn to recognise these areas in my walk and choose a different path.

I am forever waiting for the day that I reach the pavement. I hope it will come soon. Maybe someone will guide me there. I will realise how strong I have become. How my mind and body have adapted to the challenge to make me well equipped for my next journey. How my spirit has emerged surrounded by an intense light that radiates as I walk.

I will no longer be focused on moving one foot in front of the other. I will be able to spare some awareness for the beauty surrounding me. I can feel and taste and touch again. I can expand my consciousness to perceive greater things.

And maybe – I can assist others in finding the pavement too.

Be true to yourself

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” – Hardy D. Jackson

I had a dilemma in my life recently where I had to choose between this: be true to myself and let go of a massive opportunity, or keep on soldiering on and let others down.

I had been offered to take a group fitness class once a week at the place that I had completed work experience at. At first I felt honoured. I was focused upon the benefits of this opportunity – the experience I would gain, the extra money I could save up. I never once asked myself “am I compatible for this?”

So as time went on, I attended a class a week to shadow my trainer and learn through observation. This was all good and dandy while I was watching from the side-lines. However, I found that when I was asked to help him out in a more involved way, it no longer looked nice and dandy. I am not a shy person, I love meeting new people. It has become one of my many hobbies. However, I do not possess the persona required for the task I was being asked to complete. And yes, experience and hard work can help to get me there, but was this honouring myself?

There was one day when I knew that I had to attend the session – and take the warm-up. I wasn’t dreading it as such, however I wasn’t physically able to move. I recognised that I must have known deep down inside of me that this is not the path that I wanted to take. I called up my trainer, informing him that I was ill and unable to attend. What he said to me in reply surprised me: “If you are not committed to this, you will have to let me know soon so that I can get someone else to replace you”. Wow – I was not aware that others could see it in me too.

I thought over it for a while, never quite reaching a decision as I was torn between the two options. I prayed over it, and talked to friends about it, desperately hoping that someone would give me the answer as I was too indecisive to make it myself.

One night, after I had sent up my prayer, I got a phone call from my mum. She told me of an inspirational speaker who was speaking at a church service at St Michael’s, a church I have never visited. This church is situated in the CBD and I was hesitant to attend the service as it takes a while to travel into the city from my house. However, something was pulling me towards it and so the next day, I found myself sitting on the train on my way to St Michael’s.

When I listened to the speaker – I was amazed. The topic of her speech was ‘Do you know who you are?’ and was based a lot around our life’s purpose. She accentuated how to be capable of finishing a task, we have to be equipped for it. We have to possess all of the qualities and skills that it takes to finish the task. Sounds simple right? She gave examples of people who became physically ill when they were ill-equipped to finish a task, or it was simple not true for them.

I remember thinking to myself – is this my prayer being answered right in front of me? Is this God looking down upon me and saying “Em, this task you have given yourself is not your true path”?

I was still not convinced. I was aware of the wisdom that this particular speaker had shared with me as I sat in that church. However; I needed more than this. So I called upon a friend of mine.

This friend that I speak of has only known me for a month or so. Even so, I feel as if he has known me forever. He seems to know me deep down into my soul. He picks up things in me before I recognise them myself. A true gift if you ask me.

This is what my friend said to me after I explained my situation to him

“It’s obvious to me mind you that your heart isn’t truly in it. Honestly, if you keep prolonging the situation at hand you will keep letting yourself down. And that’s ok, look at it like this, if you dismiss yourself from it then you are genuinely helping someone else out who really wants the door of opportunity to open in this area of their life. You will be helping them with out them even knowing it.”

Ok, I said to myself. Now God has answered my prayer. All I need to do now is end this thing once and for all!

Today I made a friend just by opening the door

True story. No metaphors intended.

Today I opened the door to a doorknocker (a German girl about the same age as me – travelling and working). It’s funny how things come up if you ask them too. Yesterday I was thinking that I needed someone or some people to practice my German with because I’m forgetting it all. She even told me that she wanted to travel to Phillip Island. It so happens that I visit there on a regular basis. Maybe she once asked for help getting there?

I even asked recently if I could have some spiritual guidance because I would like to explore my relationship with God. I find that there is a lot of wisdom and truth in the bible, but I’ve never known how to approach learning more. Soon after asking, a close friend of mine who regularly attends church said she would try and answer my questions for me, and we are now meeting once a week to chat. And just today, another friend (a new one this time – one that I have found blogging) has offered to guide me and answer my questions. I didn’t see any of this coming!

A friend said to me about a year ago that we are at the prime of our lives. She told me not to keep my boyfriend (at the time) because over the summer we could go out clubbing and meet other guys at uni. I’m not sure if she was completely serious about letting my boyfriend go or not, but I’ve actually found when I feel really alive, it’s not when I am doing these things.

My life over the past few months has been a complete mess. To put it bluntly. Ups and Downs. No structure what-so-ever. I could never commit to something entirely (still can’t). I have and still have direction. Or at least, I’m unaware of what direction I should be going in.

It’s only been recently that I’ve begun to accept this. And this is where I’ve started to actually LIVE. So many opportunities have come up for me lately. About 50 different jobs that I could take. Or I could take none. I’ve sprung on opportunities to meet people. Been proactive. Kept old friends. Made new friends. Opportunities to change my life around – to travel, to work, to train, to experience. And although I still don’t know where I’m headed – at least now I feel exhilarated by saving a moth that’s stuck in the bathroom and doesn’t know how to get back outside, or making friends with a stranger who knocks on my door.

Me Time

I was blessed enough to create a life. It was only a few days old when I lost it.

I know this. Not for sure. But, I know.

I spoke with Him. Through the darkness. I explained. I was not in the position to birth this life into this world.

Not then, anyway.

He listened to me. Every word. I know it.

He understood that I had made a mistake.

He listened when I asked Him to deliver the soul to where it had come.

He listened when I asked Him to return it back to me, when I was ready.

And that I would be able to take better care of it then.

I hope my child can forgive me.

But if it weren’t meant to be this way – God would not have listened.

I feel blessed my child

I hope we can meet again – one day

Lesson of the Day: Look Internally Part II

Lately I’ve fallen into a trap where I find myself relying on others for support. I’ve created an illusion that this will provide me happiness and peace with my life. Having been through a few men this past year (and even in previous relationships) and cursing myself for it, I tried a different approach.

Last night I was lying in bed crying, asking myself what is it that’s inside of me that constantly drives me to this state? How do I end up becoming so attached to a person and subconsciously depending on them for my happiness? So that when all is done and dusted, I’m left with one less piece of myself. After bursting out into another round of tears (and another, and another) I finally found some strength within myself.

Earlier on that day I was with a friend. One who, in my eyes, is the most pure and honest example of an angel on earth (if example’s can be honest?). Whoever decided that I am worthy enough to call her a friend is an absolute god. I seriously cannot express how amazingly strong she is (let alone intelligent, you should see her grades!). So in my moment of distress, I thought about my friend. How she never is swayed by love, or sex, or relationships, or any sort of attachment what-so-ever. My mind flicked back to a conversation we had earlier on that day, and it hit me. She doesn’t search outside of herself for these things. This kind of fulfilment lies within us. My friend also has faith in god, that he will always be by her side.

When I was younger I used to think that religion was a stupid idea – to put it plainly. I thought that it was for the weak – an imagined explanation as to why we are on earth so that we feel we have security and direction in life, and we are not simply a product of science, evolution, and chance. But now I see differently. It is those who believe in something or someone beyond who are strong. To believe in something without proof that it exists, but only intuition and experience, is strength.

I’m not saying that god does exist (that’s an argument for another time), but those who believe in something beyond themselves are more likely to find peace.

So back to my story, I found strength in my friend. In my bed, I started to talk to god (and no, I’m not crazy). I soon realised that it was not the relationships that were the problem, it was me. And if I were to be truly happy for the rest of my life, regardless of who was supporting and interacting with me externally, I had to be my own best friend.

Another friend pointed this out to me a few months back. He was my mentor and taught me new things every day about personal development. He once told me that he was going to become his own best friend, because that way he wouldn’t need anyone else no matter what happened. At the time I just quietly nodded my head and smiled, not realising the significance of the words he had spoken. It was not until I had experience this myself that I found value in the idea.

So today I have woken up on the right side of the bed and stepped on the sunny side of the street. I have amazed myself at how resilient I have become. And this amazement has created a state of ecstasy inside of me (who needs drugs?). I am convinced that Seasonal Affective Disorder exists, because everyone I have met today seems to share my drug. This positive attitude has already started to create so many more possibilities in my life. A simple example I would like to share is when I went to the Physiotherapist this morning. I started a conversation with the receptionist on the way out, inquiring about business cards for personal training and group exercise on the desk. Our conversation ended up in me possibly having a future job at the clinic. Even if this plan doesn’t actualise, the possibility is still there. I knew there was a reason why I hurt my shoulder!

After announcing to yet another one of my friends yesterday (yes, another friend) that I was going to create a pact with myself that would prevent me from getting hurt again and throwing myself into uncomfortable positions, I updated her on my thoughts:

“I’m not creating a pact because I’ve realised that from everything I go through, I am constantly learning. And from these experiences I can also help others, which is what creates the ultimate happiness for me. What’s the point of life if you do not grow, learn and adjust? I’ve amazed myself at how mature and resilient I’ve become, but I’m also not going to stop acting like a kid at times (e.g dancing in shopping centres as if it were my private studio) because I don’t get that extra joy. Lesson learnt.”

My friend, who is a couple of years younger than me, replied “EXACTLY! You’re a brilliant role model because you don’t do what is socially expected, you do whatever you want because it makes you happy. And that’s what I want to be like. Don’t ever doubt yourself or limit yourself because you’re perfect just the way you are”.

So to repeat my previous post on this topic:

We are constantly looking for external sources in our lives that will provide us with satisfaction. Whether it be money, love, or comfort. We all have the capability to fulfil these needs ourselves. Looking externally will not end in peace because we are constantly searching for something that is not a part of us to complete ourselves. We all have the strength to be at peace with ourselves if we recognise that this peace lies within us.

Don’t ever underestimate your own strength!